‘ When the listener has become thirsty and craving, when the hearer is fresh and without fatigue, the drunk and mute will find a hundred tongues to speak. ‘
I found myself (well, not really found myself. I knew where I was at the time). Boring is the only word I can really use for it. No tooth; no real feel to it. I guess I’m a little bit of a paper snob, but I can’t imagine using that stuff on a regular basis. Feel is a huge thing for me when I’m attempting to do something or make something that literally dashed across my mind in spur or planned.
Either this deep desire of mine will be found at the end….. or it may be the satisfaction I need depending on my goings. If I had known for the real way it was, I would have just stop looking around, but that knowing depends on the time spent looking. Well when you fear of losing certain eminent position, you hope to gain something from that, but it comes elsewhere. Especially existence does this switching tricks, giving you hope from one source and then satisfaction from others. It keeps you bewildered and wondering, and lets your Trust in the ‘unseen’ grow. On that note, like an example; You think to make your living from tailoring, but then somehow money comes in through goldsmithing, which had never entered your mind…..u get what I mean huh?!
Technically I don’t know whether the ‘that’ I want will come through my effort, or my giving up effort, or from something completely different from anything I do or don’t do. An then when the emptiness starts to get filled with something, the One who plays the lute puts it down and picks up another….then whats next? fake satisfactions that simulate passion but they just distract you and prevent you from keeping it going.
I found myself getting more than usually annoyed by them for a few reasons. The first was an ongoing thing there which I don’t think can be helped, but it gets old after a while: people randomly choosing stuff they’ve done ages ago and stretching the limits of the prompt word’s definition to try to make a phony fit. Like I said, ongoing thing that can probably never be fixed in the non-juried format they use, well, I suppose I should talk about the time waster. Oh, not waster entirely, since it was something that should have been done, but it sure felt like a time waster. It’s hard to think of the pattern, though, when you’re stuck in the middle of “what the hell is going on?”….. Oh, and before anyone tries to be helpful and explain all of this to me, I should say that I did study a little bit of general understanding of the way things should/could work…..
so let’s move on!…..way way of ramblings of a downer!
Yeah, I think so. Even random typing doesn’t seem to be getting me going today. A shame, too, because I have some busyness coming up this week so blogging’s going to be patchy at best thou. Signing off………………………..Have a blissful Ramadan to All. Insyaallah.